Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Not the kind of bedrest I typically recommend

Yesterday morning I spent some time going over preoperative paperwork and instructions with a patient who was scheduled for an urgent surgery today.  The reality is that he would have had surgery yesterday, but thanks to Bayer's commercials and people having a need to self-medicate, he was taking an 81 mg Aspirin daily.  The surgery wasn't a life or death situation so holding off for a while to allow the anti-coagulation to wear off not only was in his best interest but also allowed his surgeon (read: my boss) to retain pigment in a few hairs.

After he signed all the releases I reminded him that the doctor wanted him to be on reduced activities and sleeping in a very specific - albeit a very uncomfortable - position. 

Krista:  "Do you have any other questions?"

Ron Jeremy Jr:  "Yes, is there any reason I should avoid having sex tonight?"

Krista:  "Sexual intercourse is typically very strenuous.  Your blood pressure will go up and with the specific positioning the doctor wants you to be in until your surgery time it wouldn't make intercourse very easy.  I'd strongly recommend against it."

RJ:  "Strongly recommend against it?  So that means it isn't forbidden?"

Krista:  "It isn't a good idea, but no it isn't strictly forbidden.  You ought to spend the night low key, fairly relaxed."

RJ:  "I never said I was going to be banging my head on the headboard, I just want to get laid."

2 comments:

A glimpse into the mind of Tazia... said...

That is the most awesome thing I've heard all day!! Even better than me asking my dr if I could play volleyball right after I had heart surgery!

Zazzy Episodes said...

Haha, too funny. Thanks for sharing.