Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The bigger person or just a big idiot?

For a while now, my son has been waking up in the middle of the night and coming into bed with me.  He just turned 2 and has been sleeping solo through the night since he was about 9 months old, save for a few episodes where teeth were bothering him.  I'm not naive, I know this is related to his daddy moving out.  During the night, just before going back to sleep, he will say, "I miss daddy."

This has to be the hardest part of this entire process.  Yeah, dealing with all the arguments, the lawyers, the pain and heartache all suck, but seeing it affect my little man devastates me.  I didn't expect that aspect to be so hard, but it is worse than I imagined.

Since my ex hasn't seen our son for a while, I made a decision to invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner.  Actually, I invited him for the entire day from parade to football and all the trimmings in between.  My son misses him terribly and he'll be thrilled to have his daddy with him.  Hopefully I'll be far too busy cooking to even notice his presence.

I keep waffling between being very proud of myself for putting my son's needs ahead of my desires (i.e. to not have my favorite holiday darkened by my ex's presence) and thinking I need to have "STUPID" tattooed across my forehead. 

At least I can be certain this will be an interesting Thanksgiving either way.


Brett said...

Yes. I know EXACTLY how you feel! I've had my ex over many times for the same reason. Good luck. I'm looking forward to hearing how it went.

The Single MILF said...

Did he accept? Why hasn't he spent any time with him? Details! Details!
I feel fortunate in this respect - no other parent involved... I can't imagine how it would tear at you to see your little guy hurt.

etoile said...

Bigger person :)

At least he is not overwheming you with charm and making you miss him? Cup is half full, no?

Krista said...

Brett, glad to know I'm not the only one in this position.

SMILF, sometimes I think he sees our son as baggage keeping him from having fun. Sometimes I just think he's an ass. ;-)

etoile, soooo true. Although after his repeated attempts to tell me what a mistake our divorce is, I think I'm immune to his charm.