Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.
James Michener

Since I started reading when I was 3 years old, I've had a love affair with words.  Words are powerful and evocative entities that possess numerous alternate personalities.  "I like you" expresses mild emotions, nearly to the point of being mundane.  However this sentence can be rocketed from placid to passionate with "love", "hate", "want" or "need" replacing one meek little word.

Two words, merely 8 letters combined, quite effectively showed their strength in my life recently: "I cheated."

The usual suspects filtered through me as I heard these words from my husband.  I was hurt, angry, bitter, jealous, self-deprecating, judgemental and... relieved.

It was shocking to identify that feeling at the time, but his revelation came following several months of distancing and arguments.  Repeated instances of interrogating myself as to what I had done to cause this reaction and what I could do to revive the man I married.  Countless tears cried in the shower over the loss of my best friend.

As the words "I cheated" sank in, so did my new discovery.  Words are not just strong, they are fast-acting.  At a speed that ought to shatter all the world records words that had defined me for three years morphed into a new reality.  "Married co-parent" became "single mother".

New words, new title and a new life deserve a new home.  And then came this blog.  My own little journey through this new world in written form.

1 comment:

AmericanBridget (Jones) said...

Came across your blog. Be strong. Focus. Find clarity. This blog just might be the key for you.